Sad Life
 I'm never happy. Everyone doesn't know that I'm not happy everyday. Everyday, I kept on a fake happy smile just to please everyone when all I want to do is cry so much and just curl up into a ball. I hate this world so much and no one really knows that much. They only knew that bright cheery me. Haha. How, pathetic. I don't know anymore. Sometimes, I wish I would just die or when I wanna sleep, I would stare at the ceiling and hope I never exist again tomorrow.
Why?
Because I'VE GIVEN UP ON HOPE!
I no longer have high hopes on my life in total. While writing this, I really wanted to cry. Why me? Why am I the unhappy one? Why was I allowed to live on this beautiful yet so cruel world that I learned to hate? I don't know anymore and for truths sake's I really just wanna die.
I really just wanna close my eyes forever and live in the world of nothingness. I want to close my life forever and never again face anything. I've given up and that's it. I'm so sad and that's that. I learned to be this sad, raging monster that wants no more than dying in the hands of the good. Why?
Because even if I die, I want it to be a good death. A death that everyone will remember. A death that everyone will sob for. On the other hand, I also want a death that just would end me quickly. I don't want to suffer anymore.
I don't blame people that take suicide as an option cause .. people that chose suicide don't wanna actually die. They just want their suffering to end and be at peace. Although I don't agree that way, I once wanted to chose suicide as well. What stopped me was really myself. I don't know. I wasn't ready enough to die when I really want to.
I just .. I want peace. That's all. nothing more. I .. don't want to actually die .. I just want peace. That's all I'm asking for.
Once I get that peace, maybe .. I'll be more happy and all. I don;t know. Right know, I can't feel anything. I literally feel empty and just .. nothing.
Sorrow, hatred, rage are the things that are burning inside me. I no longer can feel true happiness that much anymore. You know why? Because .. I can't feel it anymore.
I really want everything to end.
No more of this sick tiredness,
Nor this dying feeling of hatred
Or even the sorrow cries of help
that echoed in this hollow heart.
I .. I'm sorry.
Goodbye.
|
Sad Life
I'm
never happy. Everyone doesn't know that I'm not happy everyday. Everyday, I kept on a fake happy smile just to please everyone when all I want to do is cry so much and just curl up into a ball. I hate this world so much and no one really knows that much. They only knew that bright cheery me. Haha. How, pathetic. I don't know anymore. Sometimes, I wish I would just die or when I wanna sleep, I would stare at the ceiling and hope I never exist again tomorrow.
Why?
Because I'VE GIVEN UP ON HOPE!
I no longer have high hopes on my life in total. While writing this, I really wanted to cry. Why me? Why am I the unhappy one? Why was I allowed to live on this beautiful yet so cruel world that I learned to hate? I don't know anymore and for truths sake's I really just wanna die.
I really just wanna close my eyes forever and live in the world of nothingness. I want to close my life forever and never again face anything. I've given up and that's it. I'm so sad and that's that. I learned to be this sad, raging monster that wants no more than dying in the hands of the good. Why?
Because even if I die, I want it to be a good death. A death that everyone will remember. A death that everyone will sob for. On the other hand, I also want a death that just would end me quickly. I don't want to suffer anymore.
I don't blame people that take suicide as an option cause .. people that chose suicide don't wanna actually die. They just want their suffering to end and be at peace. Although I don't agree that way, I once wanted to chose suicide as well. What stopped me was really myself. I don't know. I wasn't ready enough to die when I really want to.
I just .. I want peace. That's all. nothing more. I .. don't want to actually die .. I just want peace. That's all I'm asking for.
Once I get that peace, maybe .. I'll be more happy and all. I don;t know. Right know, I can't feel anything. I literally feel empty and just .. nothing.
Sorrow, hatred, rage are the things that are burning inside me. I no longer can feel true happiness that much anymore. You know why? Because .. I can't feel it anymore.
I really want everything to end.
No more of this sick tiredness,
Nor this dying feeling of hatred
Or even the sorrow cries of help
that echoed in this hollow heart.
I .. I'm sorry.
Goodbye.
